Christmas Blessings?

Well, here we are, nearly a week into our long awaited Christmas break, and, I've got to be honest, it's not exactly what I was expecting or hoping for. For Ryan's entire semester, we've talked about these 2 weeks off and how precious they would be to us! Uninterrupted, joyous fun with Daddy before he sets back in for another semester. Special, individual time with just Abe before we add another little one to our family in just a few months. Laughter and reunion with family and friends. And yes, while we've had a lot of those wonderful moments with family and friends, we've also had some struggles.

It started as I was finishing up some Christmas shopping--I was walking through the mall, watching countless shoppers with their arms laden with packages. There I was, with one little gift, double checking my receipt to make sure I was still on track with my Christmas budget. I found myself feeling a little down, that for me to do the very basic gifts was such a financial stretch for our family, while all these other shoppers were out enjoying the hustle and bustle of the season, buying large, costly gifts. And, I know, how silly, because maybe they have credit card debt--who knows?! And no, the dollar amount of the gift in no way equals the thought and love behind it. Still, I found myself feeling down all the same.

And now--right before Christmas, my husband has a nasty head cold, and my son has bronchitis. At times, Abe coughs so hard he spits up, and his coughs are coming so frequently that he barely has time to take a breath in between. Sitting in the prompt care and willing your son to stop coughing so he can just get some rest is not really what I wanted. It isn't comfortable for me to get three hours of sleep at night because I'm sitting upright holding my little boy against my chest to help him breathe better. It makes me very sad to see my son suffering. I felt like I was imposing on my in-laws and risking getting others ill, and at multiple times, I wished I was just in my own home, away from everyone and therefore safe from infecting others. I was feeling quite sorry for myself, upset that this "break" that was supposed to be so perfect and fun and carefree was now clouded with illness and discomfort. I could hardly stand the thought of our Christmas festivities being "ruined" by a sick child. I want him to be happy and have fun as he opens his gifts! Almost a week of our 2 week break is over, and Ryan hasn't really felt rested, as he is battling a nasty cold himself and has been worried about his little boy. In just another week, he'll be hitting school hard again. Will he be recuperated, healthy, rested, ready to face a new semester? A new baby too? Are we burdening those we came to share the season with? All these thoughts added to my weariness.

And then, it occurred to me that I was sinning. In the midst of this season of worship and joy, I was wallowing in self pity because things weren't turning out just as I had planned. I remembered what this time of year is all about, and it isn't about me having fun and being comfortable and opening all our presents without a grumpy child. I doubt the stable was the most comfortable place to give birth, nor was the manger the most comfortable bed, particularly for the Savior of the World! Instead of praising God for sending his Son and thereby giving me new Life, I was complaining that my circumstances weren't "perfect". How thankful I should be that when my son is sick, I can take him to a doctor and then have ready access to medication to give him so he can get better! How many people across the world would leap at the chance to just see a healthcare provider, let alone give their child medicine just a few hours later when the pharmacy that they drove to in their own car has it ready? How thankful I should be that even though Ryan and Abe are sick, we have a warm house to be in, plentiful food to eat, and clean water to drink? Then I remembered this video we saw in church a few Sundays ago; it is put together by the Advent Conspiracy, and it reformed my thoughts and my point of view.

Let me offer a disclaimer before you watch: I am not suggesting gifts are wrong or that we should all stop giving gifts or that you should feel badly if you have spent a fair amount of money on Christmas gifts this year! I love blessing my loved ones with material gifts, and Jesus was given material gifts at the time of his birth. Had we no consideration of tight finances at this time in our life, I would gladly and willingly extravagantly bless others, from my parents to our mailman! However, I do think it offers a fresh perspective and understanding at how richly blessed we are. Now, with that out of the way, here is the video. I'm having trouble posting the hyperlink, so you'll have to copy and paste the address into your browser. Once you are at the website, click "Check it Out" under the "AC Promo Video" to start it.

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

And so, perhaps this "inconvenience" is actually God's greatest blessing to me this Christmas--that I would recognize that Jesus is absolutely, always, completely enough. I pray that you have a wonderful, blessed, healthy Christmas full of joy, love, and laughter! Remember the Reason for the Season. Jesus is King!